Track the heat.
Tame the mess.

Hot Mess is a private menopause tracker for symptoms, sleep, food, movement and calm. No account. No ads. Your data stays on your phone.

Coming soon to Google Play. 14-day free trial, then from £4.58 a month.

Does any of this sound familiar?

You're wide awake at three in the morning, again. You lose a word halfway through a sentence, in front of people. Your jumper comes off, goes back on, comes off. You snap at someone you love, then beat yourself up for hours, guilty, fighting a battle with yourself that nobody else can see. Then you finally get to the doctor and can't remember half of what you wanted to say.

Four taps a day

Warmth, sleep, mood and clarity. Log how today feels in seconds and watch your day fill in.

Easy to use, because who wants the messing about when you're already a flibbertigibbet? Add hours slept, water, weight and your cycle if you like, and a note when you need one. Under a minute a day.

See your patterns

Seven, thirty or ninety days at a glance. Which foods come before the bad days. Whether sleep, water or movement seem to help.

The app spots the links for you and says them plainly, like "alcohol tends to come before your worst flushes".

Food without the faff

Search a built-in list or a database of millions of products, tap a common drink, tick a trigger. Your triggers, your list.

Calories, protein, calcium and magnesium are counted for you, with a gentle note when a day's running low.

Calm on tap

Guided sessions for a flush, a 3am wake-up or a foggy morning, with the words on screen as the minutes pass.

Ten sessions, three to ten minutes each, sorted by what you're dealing with right now. Included, no headphones needed.

About the founder

Emma
Jekyll and Hide. I'm the calm one. Mostly.

Hi, I'm Emma. I built Hot Mess because I needed it, and if you've read this far, I've a feeling you might too.

That list at the top of the page was me. I'd look in the mirror and think, who is she? Tired eyes, weight from nowhere, a fuse the length of a matchstick. My family called it Jekyll and Hide, mostly because they were the ones hiding. And on the nights I couldn't sleep I'd end up on the sofa with the Golden Girls reruns, watching Blanche insist she was far too young for "the change", and thinking, love, same. That was about all the education I'd had.

Then one of those nights, somewhere around the third episode, it landed. I wasn't a mess. I was a hot mess. That's where the app got its name, and that's where the idea came from too. Nobody had warned me. Did anyone warn you? If you're in your forties and quietly wondering why you're not yourself lately, you're in the right place, even if no one's said the word menopause to you yet.

Here's what helped me, and I think it'll help you. I started writing my days down. Four taps, that's all. Within a couple of weeks I could see it. My coffee and a sweet treat at night were behind the 3am wake-ups, so I swapped them for a mint tea and a corn cracker with a smidge of peanut butter and some strawberries, and slept. All the bread and pasta I was leaning on were leaving me bloated, and my body had quietly stopped getting on with gluten, so I moved towards protein and the bloating went with it. Small things. But they gave me a bit of control back, and a page of facts to hand my doctor instead of a shrug.

So that's what Hot Mess is. Your days, your patterns, on your phone, with no account, no ads and no lecture. And I'd love it to become more than an app. Somewhere we can say the unknown bits out loud, compare notes, and get each other through. A blog and a members' space are coming. I hope you'll join me.

One last thing, because it matters. I'm not a doctor and I'm not selling a cure. I'm a woman going through it, with a good app and a lot of notes. If anything here makes you think "oh, it's not just me", then we're already getting somewhere.

Free bonuses with the app

All of this comes with the app at no extra cost.

• Walk in with the facts. One tap for a doctor's summary of your last 30 or 90 days.
• Private by design. No account, no ads, nothing leaves your phone unless you send it.
• Track your nutrients. Calories, protein, calcium and magnesium counted for you.
• Fasting tracker. Set your eating window and see how you kept to it.
• Cycle and symptoms. Periods, spotting and where you are in the change.
• Movement. Log walks, strength, stretches and more, with step-by-step routines.

Coming soon: a blog and a members' community.

What it costs

Try everything free for 14 days. Pick a plan, and Google Play only charges you when the trial ends. Cancel any time before that and you pay nothing.

Monthly
£7.99
a month 6 months
£34.99
£5.83 a month, save 27% Most popularYearly
£54.99
£4.58 a month, save 43%

Founding member price. Join now and your price is locked in for as long as you stay, whatever it costs later.

Pick your plan inside the app. Install free, start your trial, and Google Play handles the payment. Prices shown in pounds; Google Play charges you in your own currency.

Hot Mess Plus

When you want more than tracking. Hot Mess Plus is everything in the app plus three personal plans, each built from your own answers and your own log.

• Nutrition plan. A week of meals around your triggers, your diet and how you like to eat, with recipes and a shopping list.
  What's inside

  • A week of meals chosen around your triggers, your diet, your allergies and how you like to eat.
  • 100 meals to draw from, each with a plain step-by-step recipe and a cooking time.
  • A "for you" line on every meal saying what it does for your sleep, bones or flushes.
  • Swap any meal you don't fancy. Log it in one tap.
  • A weekly shopping list grouped by aisle that remembers what you've ticked.
  • Adjusts each week from your Sunday check-in.
• Movement plan. A weekly routine that respects your knees, your kit and your energy, with step-by-step positions.
  What's inside

  • A weekly routine set by how much you've actually moved, not how much you wish you had.
  • 16 sessions, from a ten-minute stretch to a 30-minute strength circuit, with step-by-step positions and figures.
  • Respects your knees, hips, back or shoulders, and the kit you have.
  • Skips the sweaty sessions on heavy-flush weeks. Calming ones in the evening when sleep is poor.
  • Swap any session. Rest days built in.
  • Eases off or steps up from your Sunday check-in.
• Extended meditation. Longer sessions and multi-day programmes for sleep, flushes and focus.
  What's inside

  • Ten longer guided sessions, ten to twenty minutes, with the words on screen as the minutes pass.
  • Three multi-day programmes: better sleep, cooler flushes, a clearer head.
  • Sessions matched to when you need them: bedtime, 3am, a flush, a foggy morning.
  • Progress tracked, so you can see the weeks build.
  • The screen stays awake while you sit.

Plus monthly
£9.99
a month, everything included Best valuePlus yearly
£79.99
£6.67 a month, save 33%

Only £2 a month more than the app alone, or £25 a year, for all three plans.

Or pick just the plan you want inside the app. Cancel any time through Google Play.

Community

A private Telegram group with me in it most days, plus the blog. Real women, real talk, nobody outside can see it. Sold on its own, not part of Plus.

Community monthly
£5.49
a month Community yearly
£44.99
£3.75 a month, save 32%

Free for founding members for the first three months after launch, then £5.49 a month, locked in for as long as you stay. Cancel any time.

Everything

Hot Mess Plus and the community together. Saves £1.50 a month against buying both.

Everything monthly
£13.99
a month Best valueEverything yearly
£109.99
£9.17 a month, save 34%

Ready when you are. Hot Mess is coming soon to Google Play.

Hot Mess is a tracking aid, not a medical device, and does not give medical advice. Contact: hello@thehotmessapp.com